Girls Night

Recently I went out on a Saturday night with a couple of girlfriends to have a couple drinks and see about lettin’ off a little steam without the kids or menfolk. We had a really good time and we all needed it. I know that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been able to get out and goof off by myself.

The bar we went to had a dance floor.

So, we hit the floor to the sound of Fat Bottomed Girls. Then there was another song with a good beat which we stayed out for. That song was followed by I Like Big Butts by Sir Mixalot. Hey, wait a second, here.

I think the universe is trying to talk to me.

 I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m fat. I know, it’s shocking. I type like a skinny chick. But, it’s true.

If we go by Gabriel Iglecias’ “Five Levels of Fatness” which are :

Big

Healthy

Husky

Fluffy

and

DAMN!

I’m probably fluffy. Since nobody has let me know yet that I’ve made it to Damn. (That’s how you know you’re on that level.) I think I’m probably still fluffy. I’m also not in the new category he recently added called Oh Hell No! where people won’t let you get on the elevator with them.

I know it makes people uncomfortable to hear that. It makes me uncomfortable, too. But, it sometimes feels like the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. Well, maybe that’s a bad choice of words. I just mean that if you met me in person you’d be able to tell. I can’t keep it a secret, but it’s not something people talk about. So, it’s a little wierd. But, anyhoo, back to the dance floor…

So, we’re dancing and the universe is trying to tell me something about my butt. However, I’m not really listening because I love to dance and it feels like forever since I’ve been dancing and the music is cranked up like it should be and…and …and …hold on a second I need to catch my breath.

See, this is the deal now. Because I am fluffy, I am not able to maintain an acceptable level of dance activity. I get winded and tired and can’t do it for very long.

This is not something I’m willing to tolerate. So, we are resolved. This unacceptable situation will be modified. My first goal will be to get back down to merely Husky.

Don’t worry, once the universe decided that it had my attention, it played me a new song which has lately become a favorite. Which I include here for your viewing pleasure

http://blackeyedpeas.dipdive.com/#/~/videoplayer/0/undefined/76361/~/

…and I’m planning on learning that dance, because I think today’s gonna be a good good day.