break through

I feel like maybe I had a bit of a break through with my yoga practice yesterday in class. I’ve been fighting a cold this week so my head was stuffy and my brain cloudy. Normally I have some difficulty with reigning in my “crazy monkey” of a brain during class. This was not really a problem yesterday because I had the setting turned down to low or warm all day yesterday.

The thing of it is, it seemed to help.

 On the first day of class our instructor said that if you are struggling with the poses, then that is good because it’s easier to focus on them. If the poses are easier, than you might not be as focused as you could be. Now, I’m not saying the poses are easy for me. But, I think ,for the most part, I do okay and don’t really worry too much about it. Yesterday, I was just trying to breathe my way through the class.

I was trying to do a pose called pigeon pose. Imagine standing in a deep lunge with one leg out behind you and the other bent in front of you. Then imagine you were sort of taking that position down onto the ground. Your front leg is folded up under you and your back leg is laying extended behind you. Then you fold forward so, in theory, you can put your arms on the ground in front of you. It’s supposed to be a good stretch for the hip and groin area.

It is.

So, I’m folded and extended and I can’t get it and I think I’m going to cry and this little scenario plays out in my head. In the scenario I get up and leave because I can’t and I’m crying and it’s too hard. As I’m picturing this, I realize that that’s not going to help me get the pose or get the benefit of the yoga practice.

 So, I keep on trying and folding and extending.

I still felt like I was going to cry because I was so frustrated with how hard this (these) pose(s) is(are). I used to be very flexible. I still am, all things considered. But, in comparison to a few years ago, I am woefully unbendy. So, I decided that I would just cry if that’s what it took. But I would be crying doing the damn pigeon pose. Or whenever it would happen. That I was not going to stop just because I was upset and frustrated. That I wasn’t going to quit and that I mean to see this exercise thing through this time.

And for the first time, I got to part two of the pigeon pose. That’s where you keep your front leg tucked up, but you arch your torso back at the same time as you bend your back knee and lift your back foot up to (hopefully) 90 degrees or so. And grab your foot if you can. If you’ve been practicing for a while, then you might reach back over your head to grab your foot, but I don’t think I’ll be there for a while.

So, my muddled, fuzzy, cold filled head was what it took to break through to this place of acceptance that I am in now. I think it will help me to expand me exercise plan and maybe with other things as well. We shall see…