The Subject is Not Open to Debate

Any opinions I hold or things that I say are not open for debate.

My interpretation of debate is a verbal sparring match where opponents compete to defend their side and one up each other in order to be more right than the other person. This is not a game that I am willing to engage in. If you and I are talking and I feel that I need to defend my position on a topic, or if I feel that you are not allowing that my side is valid, then I will stop the conversation. Full stop. I don’t appreciate my opinions being challenged either. I don’t feel that I should be required to prove that my opinion is a good one. So, if you want to bring our conversation to a screeching halt that’s a good way to go about it. I mean, it’s possible that I have an assertive bone in my body, but it is very much buried. I lose my ability to communicate coherently if I feel attacked or belittled or on the defensive. I’m not a person who thrives under that kind of pressure.

******HOWEVER******

If you want to discuss my opinions. If you want to question my opinions. If you want to open a dialogue, engage in discourse, explore ideas, search together or learn, then I’m your girl. If you can allow that my opinions, as well as yours, are valid. If we can meet each other in a place of respect and good intentions, then, believe me, I’ll be the first one there. If we can collaborate. If we can listen to each other without judgement or competition or perhaps even expectation, then we have a solid foundation of trust from which to build. That is where the magic comes from. People engaging each other. Stimulating each other. Supporting each other. Encouraging the best from one another. That’s where innovation and invention and progress happen. That’s where tolerance and acceptance flourish. If we make room for each other’s opinions and views, then there is no room for intolerance and discrimination. There is no room for hatred. That’s where humanity happens.

Now we’re talkin’!

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