Tender Feelings (and the healing power of YouTube)

So One thing I’ve noticed happening since my mom’s death is that it seared away a lot of the bullshit. I am in many ways stripped down to what really matters. But to go along with that part (which I guess you might call a benefit) is a feeling of being laid bare and raw. Those parts that used to have some sort of protection built up are exposed and unprotected from the battering of emotional weather that rains down on us in our daily life. I feel like I’m doing a fair job of working through the grief process. But I feel very raw.

So it is with these newly raw nerves that I entered into my gender and race class this term. Obviously there is nothing to bring you down when we are talking about gender and race equality and discrimination, is there? Yea, right.

So I am opened up and drawn down and I start reading about this little girl in Texas and the 17-24 GOD DAMNED FUCKING ASSHOLES who raped her. As if the act itself wasn’t BAD ENOUGH the reporting of it is implying as usually happens with rape cases that she asked for it. But the point here is that the GIRL IS ELEVEN and 11 year olds aren’t asking to be raped (as if anybody is).

11 year olds CANNOT consent.

and this may be the one time that those backward, old wild west laws in Texas may work out for the good. So there was a petition to get the New York Times to retract the article or something, They responded that the reporting “lacked balance” or whatever. A start, but a lame start toward apologizing for the shoddy reporting they did.

But they still hadn’t responded on Friday morning when I awoke to the morning news of the earthquake and subsequent tsunami including alerts here on the Oregon coast (and Hawaii and many other places)

and my heart couldn’t take any more.

Especially when I was unable to reconcile the one side of my social media outlets which was devastated and hurting and tragedized with the other that didn’t seem to have heard the news yet and so continued to post about how to decorate for spring or save on this thing or whatever silly fluff piece was in the queue for that day.

I just couldn’t make it all jive together in my head and each fluffy little post on Facebook (mostly not by people, but by businesses or other “things” I’m a fan of) just made my brain twitch a little more.

So I signed off.

and jumped on You Tube to wallow around in some music and soothe my soul.

I ended up here:

This Girl Can SANNGG!

(She needs to leave that turkey!)

and then here:

Train rips out my heart and gives it back bigger

and here:

Uppity Blues Women sing my NEW THEME SONG!

There were a lot more, but I think this post might be long enough for today!

But if you are interested look up Nintendo Acapella and Kelley Mooney on You Tube.

By the end of it all I was feeling a little more( or less) human and able to face the day and the rest of whatever might be in store.

But, I’ve had to tone down my informedness in order to keep on keepin’ on.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tinkerbelle86
    Mar 14, 2011 @ 10:33:47

    try searching on keyboard cat. cheers me up every time!

    Reply

    • 2bdancing
      Mar 14, 2011 @ 11:03:47

      I’m told about MARU the cat (apparently likes boxes). I have another friend who uses playful kittens and frolicking baby donkeys. Thanks, I’ll try keyboard cat.

      Reply

  2. ayala
    Mar 14, 2011 @ 15:01:10

    Sometimes it’s just too much and that’s okay. Feel better.

    Reply

    • 2bdancing
      Mar 14, 2011 @ 15:08:57

      thanks, I do. I really do just wallow around in it for a while and then make my way back out. (I was already doing that, but when I went to see a counselor he said the same thing.)

      Reply

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