Remembering The Dead

For me, I end up not being a fan of September. It starts out okay. I love school starting up. I enjoy the easing of the temperatures.  I like fall. I like spring and fall best, but spring tends to be a riotous toddler freshly woke from a nap given to tantrums and erratic behavior. It’s just hard to keep up. Fall is more of a gentle easing. The hot, full, carefree party days of summer are through, though remembered with fondness, and we settle in to enjoy the harvest bounty while looking ahead toward the hibernative nature of the rest of the turning of the wheel.

This is good.

But then, you know, things have happened in September to make it less appealing. Personally for me, it’s my mom’s death. The 21st. This year I was hurrying to accomplish some legal things regarding her death before a time limit ran out. This involved me telling the specifics of the situation multiple times to multiple people who then declined to hear any more about it.

In the midst of this, the 11th showed up to pull the shades down a touch lower.

Sigh.

So I put out a question to my internet friends.

What songs do you listen to for cheering up and endurance, you’ll get through this inspiration?

I got lots of great suggestions, but one in particular hit the spot for me that day.

It’s funny how you forget things.

Things that were a very large part of your existence.

I grew up in a family that was very much into the Grateful Dead.

It was very much the background music of my childhood. And often the foreground music as well. We had lots of family gatherings that centered around us all going to their concerts. The fabric of my life is tie-dyed. Really.

So when someone suggested “I Will Survive” by the Grateful Dead (Touch of Grey, actually) I knew immediately that that was one I needed to listen to. And as I did, it reminded me of those times before.  Those times before I grew up and life got complicated. Before I had known much loss and change. Before she was gone. I listened to a few more of their songs* and felt really close to my mom again.

My heart settled and healed a bit.

It feels good to remember the Dead.

*other songs like:

friend of the devil

truckin

sugar magnolia

uncle john’s band

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Michelle
    Sep 25, 2013 @ 21:06:12

    I have so many memories of your mom, and the tye dye, and the love that she had for you. You guys had a bond I don’t think I could ever have shared with my mom, and I loved my time at your house. It felt like a special members only clubhouse. Big hugs to you for being able to share about her. I feel lucky to have known her and to know how she loved you.

    Reply

  2. CatNISSCatherine
    Sep 26, 2013 @ 11:41:54

    I’m sorry you have to go through this grief. The only grief I’ve ever experienced is loss of love, or family unity, but not death. I imagine that involves a whole different set of songs of comfort. I recommend the Muppets. The last movie was quite good.

    Reply

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