No more, No less

This day is just a day like any other

even though a year ago I lost my mother.

It doesn’t hurt more today than it did yesterday

Nor, I imagine, will it hurt any less tomorrow.

Marking off days on some tally stick

Doesn’t really do the trick.

It doesn’t ease my sorrow.

It’s been a year.

We’ve made it through.

Survived each and every day of it without you.

Some of them really weren’t that bad

Many were  the worst and hardest we’ve ever had.

I mark this anniversary wearily.

I’m tired of the heartbreak and the heartache; tired of you being gone, really.

I take this moment to acknowledge how far I’ve come

in muddling through this healing process thing.

To acknowledge that I still have miles to go.

One thing I know for sure

is that this one year pales in comparison to our 34.

“If you get there before I do

Don’t give up on me.

I’ll meet when my chores are through

I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

 

I’ll see you again by Westlife (YouTube)

Love Me by Collin Raye (YouTube)

Gently treat my heart

Gently treat my heart

The seams are worn

and prone to fall apart.

This jagged, gaping tear of mine

has been crudely stitched together by the hands of time.

I am reminded of a year ago and before

When we always the possibility of more.

I tell you I love you, I say it out loud.

You tell me you love me in dreams and in clouds.

It’s impossible and it’s rough

to let that be enough

world, gently treat my heart today

for I have not the heart to play.

Turn it up to 11!

This weekend our marriage turned 11 years old.

I’ve been married to this guy♥

 

This post is a twofer.

Because it’s also Father’s Day.

Here’re some dudes watchin’ NASCAR and playing games on the phones.

These two are cut from the same cloth.

In fact, they are sometimes two (green) peas in a pod:

But not always 😀

A Decade Ago

Saturday the 19th was my anniversary. I know that for sure because I checked my marriage license. For some reason my husband and I have a really hard time remembering exactly which day it falls on. Stereotypically he’s allowed to forget it, but I’m not supposed to.

We had to go up to Portland to the Veteran’s Hospital for an appointment my husband had on Friday, so we let our son stay over at a friend’s house and stayed an extra night to goof off and celebrate a little in the city. We went out Friday night for dinner and music at a place called Bushwhacker’s Saloon and Dance Hall. They have a big dance floor, decent food, and a DJ playing country music for line and partner dancing. Yay! Fun!

We had a good time. One of the coolest things (to me) was this group of college kids who knew a lot of the dances from classes at college in Eugene (UO). They were pretty good and VERY enthusiastic. They were a lot of fun to watch. My favorite was when one of the girls (who was wearing very slick boots) slipped and fell. She recovered by doing a somersault, jumping back up and continuing the dance as if nothing had happened. I thought it was hysterical and smooth.

We got married in Reno. Not because we eloped, but because we lived near there and it was convenient. We went to the courthouse to get our license. The office there was conveniently open from 8:00 in the morning until 8:00 at night every day. We just missed the Justice of the Peace who did not keep those same hours. We left the courthouse and walked across the street to the Heart Of Reno Wedding Chapel which coincidentally kept the same hours. Nevada is pretty easy about these things so we only needed one witness. That was the secretary who was filling out our paperwork while the Minister officiated our ceremony.

“Do you, Brook, promise to love Alan?”

“I do.”

“Do you, Alan, promise to love Brook?”

“I do.”

“By the power invested in me by the State of Nevada I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

The very nice secretary gave us our paperwork and a manila envelope. In the envelope were a couple brochures and a lovely native american wedding poem rolled up and tied with a ribbon. She told us we could go around the corner to the casino there for a free wedding gift. Ooh, free stuff!

We followed her direction to the casino ( I think it was the Virginian, but can’t remember for sure. I have our precious momentos in storage. One day I will compile them in a shadowbox picture frame to mount on the wall). We went to the main cashier to collect out free gift. The cashier handed us a pen and what looked like a pad of paper. I said, “Oh, I have to sign something?” She replied, “No, that’s your gift.” On closer inspection, the pad of paper was a coupon book with many valuable coupons including two free drinks. Another coupon was for 50 cents off 1 hotdog at the snack bar. There were a few more of equal (or lessor) value. Of course, we can’t forget the pen. To make sure we got our full value, I also took a couple of matchbooks from the bar while we were having our free drinks.

If I recall correctly the license cost $35 and the ceremony cost $30, or vice versa.

That’s the story of our wedding day.

A quick search reveals that the 10th anniversary is the TIN and ALUMINUM anniversary traditionally. The modern list shows it as the DIAMOND JEWELRY anniversary. Hmm… that’s a tough choice.