Birthday Word Doodles

It was my friend’s birthday the day before Valentine’s day.

We were challenged to write birthday songs for her.

Here were some I came up with:

roses are read
sandwiches are hammy
happy birthday to you
miss Tammy

Roses are red
Said the cranky old possum
All I know is
Tammy is awesome

back to the drawing board
the words are not coming
there are only so many
things that rhyme with running

tammy is my friend
the end ♥

roses are red
violets are blue
I don’t want diamonds
just give me running shoes

roses are red
violets are blue
bring back the storylady
because the library fucking sucks without her.

violets are blue
red is a rose
who’s the one
who snorts coffee out her nose?

books are read
by our tammy
all that running
gives you a nice fanny

roses have thorns
violets are stupid
valentine’s day is over
you’re a pain in the ass, cupid.

roses are crimson
violets are violet
probably this poem
will end up in the toilet

the cadence is off
the rhyming is shoddy
here’s another
to go in the potty.

It’s possible I veered off topic.

 

this is one i wish i made up:

roses are red
violets are blue
rhyming is hard
bacon

 

Quotastical

‎”If you express what is inside you, what is inside you will save you.
If you don’t express what is inside you, what is inside you can kill you.” ~Gospel of Saint Thomas
Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise.
Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. – Claude T. Bissell
The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. – Hans Hofmann
Quality begins on the inside… then works its way out. – Bob Moawad
That’s what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too. – Paulo Coelho
‎”Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous.
Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable…” ― Matilda by Roald Dahl
A person can succeed at almost anything for which they have unlimited enthusiasm. – Charles M. Schwab

This Habitat=For Humanity

Dear small animals,

I respect your right to exist. I think that you are precious little furry, scaly, slimy beings whose habitats should be protected and who should be free to roam and frolic in the trees, bushes, rocks, what-have-you.

But this habitat. is. for. humans. go back outside!

I’m talking to you Mr. Lizard who came to visit yesterday. and again today(or your friend).

and you, Mouse Family.

Please respect my habitat boundaries and I will respect yours.

Until then it is the new outdoor kitties’ habitat,too.

Sorry about that.

Not really that crazy

There is this popular catchy tune out right now.

I know that it’s popular and catchy because they told me so on Nightline.

Also, I have heard it myself a few times.

According to Nightline, it’s one of those songs that has swept across YouTube in the form of fun parodies and such.

I’ve also seen it in the other meme forms.

“Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy,
But here’s my number, so call me maybe
It’s hard to look right, at you baby,
But here’s my number, so call me maybe ” (original chorus)

So here is what I think:

What’s so crazy about giving someone your phone number when you first meet? How else are you going to explore the possibility of a future relationship?

Obviously I’m either too old or too literal or too … something to really get this song. But here’s my version, modified to fit my point of view. 🙂

Hey, we just met, and I find you very attractive

Let’s get together and see if this might lead somewhere

To facilitate that I’m going to provide you with a means of contacting me

But only if you choose to, so I’m not asking for your number back.

It’s possible it needs a little work to get it to really flow.

and while we’re on the subject of ADD…

oh, we weren’t?

huh.

I’m pretty much always on that subject. It’s hard for me to imagine that you all are not. Ah well.

Three times in the last week I let pots of soup or something boil over onto the stove. (I think that’s a record, even for me.) The stove, by the way, is one of those ceramic cooktops. This helps to make clean up easier (sorta). But, according to the manual, they pretty much frown on you getting anything on it. Especially things like tomato sauce, which is fairly acidic and might pit the surface. I don’t like tomato soup to begin with. But foaming all over the stove makes it particularly gross. :O

and…

I forgot to turn in my final paper for my class. Soooo this morning I jumped up and ran over to my school to turn it in. Hoping that I’m not too late to at least get partial credit. 😐

nerg.

Happily, so far today that is all. Of course, it’s early yet.

On my way home I saw a little truck with a bumper sticker that said, “I BRAKE FOR SAUCY WENCHES!” Gave me a little chuckle. Then I thought of a couple bumper stickers I might like to have.

I BRAKE IN ORDER TO SLOW DOWN!

~*~

HONK IF THERE’S AN EMERGENCY

OR AN IDIOT NEARBY!

 

Then, in an odd little aside, there was a praying mantis hitching a ride on the bottom of my grocery cart at the store. Instead of putting my cart away like I usually like to do, I rolled it over to the edge of the parking lot where the are some bushes and grasses and parked it off-road there. Hopefully he will decide that he needs to jump ship before someone collects that cart.

We are heading out in a few minutes to play in the creek at the park with some friends before our soccer game tonight.

Busy. Busy.

 

Late Night TV Commercials

I was up waaay to late last night watching some TV.

We tend to watch things on the DVR so don’t watch nearly as many commercials as we used to. (and they know that-damn you increased product placement!)

Unfortunately we didn’t have anything recorded to watch so we were forced to watch regular TV and suffer through the commercials. (You can also do thing where you pause and fast forward through them, but sometimes that is too much work.)

I talked the husband into watching Katt Williams on the Comedy Channel. I think he is just hysterical. (and he cracked a smile, so he thought he was at least a little funny. Then he fell asleep.)

After a while I noticed the ads were weird. Apparently, the people who watch late night comedy are:

inclined to give money away due to soft-heartedness

in two commercial breaks there was a commercial for UNICEF, World Wildlife Federation, and ASPCA. (Interestingly, you can save a child’s life for only $15/month, but it cost $18 a month to save pets here. I figure it must be the exchange rate.)

and yet they are broke

in those same two breaks there were two commercials for the same fast loans service that loans you money until you get your legal settlement in that lawsuit that is pending over your injury accident. (You need a loan so you can send money to help _______ )

and in danger of being sent to a nursing home unless they can regain their independence by ordering a Hoveround electric wheelchair!

You tricky ad people, you know us so well.

😀

My Purse Is Cooler Than I Am

I’m not really a purse person. I’m mostly a set things down and forget them person. But as a mom and grown up I am required to carry around a whole host of paraphernalia that must be produced upon demand for a variety of situations. When we graduated out of carrying a suitcase diaper bag, I had need of something a little smaller that would still hold a mound of crap (mostly small metal cars for easy distraction). So I bought a small leather (ish?) one, which was fine but eventually proved itself to be too small for our needs.

I “upgraded” to a similar one that was bigger and it turned out to be close to perfect. It was a neutral brown (p)leather, had lots of pockets for regular stuff, and divided empty space in the middle for irregular stuff. I used it for years. Eventually the zipper on one of the pockets gave up. Some seams were starting to look a tad frayed but it was still working up until then. The only thing I did not like about it was that it was a little “momish” and didn’t have any artistic flair that would be more representative of me.

I continued to use it while looking for a new purse with similar features. I am loathe to purchase items new anymore, so looking at the thrift stores when I had a little free time is the primary method I used. Eventually, I found one that was okay. Not precisely what I was looking for, but pretty good. I has lots of pocketty things and space for oddsized things.

After I purchased it, I continued to use my old one for a week or two. I didn’t really have time (or inclination) to do the clean/sort/switcheroo required.

But my old purse was tired of my fooling around and decided to make things happen. One of the straps (frayed seams, remember?) broke.

So I made the switch to the new purse.

It’s black leather with silver metal hardware and grommet accents.

See!

It’s a little bit bad-ass. Which is where the problem lies. It’s more bad-ass than I am.

It turns out that I am momish and a little boring. I have artistic flair, but not really bad-assery.

So I think I am still on the lookout for a new purse.

Badass Hardware

When my son saw my new purse he said, “That’s cool. That makes me want to have a purse.” Ha ha!

Functionally, it’s okay but the pockets aren’t quite right and I’m used to my old purse being thicker leather that held its shape. This one is floppy. I feel like I’m rolling a sharpei puppy around to try to get out my wallet.

So yeah, still looking.

Love These Quotes

‎”If you hear a voice within saying, ‘You are not a painter,’

then by all means paint…and that voice will be silenced.” -Vincent Van Gogh

~*~

If I have given my all & still do not win, I haven’t lost.

Others might remember winning or losing; I remember the journey. – Apolo Anton Ohno

Quick Quotes

“It’s never too late. There are a million things you can do, are doing, right now, to improve the world. The products you buy, the foods you eat, the stores you patronize, the news sources you value, the politicos you vote for, the love you make, the information you choose to share, the stories you believe in — every single choice, from coffee cup to charity donation, joke retold to tender human touch — these are what make all the difference.” -Mark Morford

‎”We have to fight them daily, like fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for they sap our energies.”
– Etty Hillesum
Etty Hillesum, less famous than her contemporary, Anne Frank, lived a short life of great courage. She went voluntarily to the Westerbork camp to help fellow Jews interned by the Nazis. Her letters detail her experiences. She died at Auschwitz in 1943.

‎”It never amazes me that people will follow an illogical assumption and carry it out in a logical fashion”

Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than what you think. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

The real trick to life is not to be in the know, but to be in the mystery. -Fred Alan Wolf

That’s probably enough for now.

Search Terms!

Okay, I thought some of these were pretty funny.

It’s funny that people are searching for these phrases.

It’s also funny that I use them in my posts.

Here are the search terms that have brought me traffic so far.

Tee Hee!

 

Search Views
platypus 3
tally go 1
tally-ho here i go 1
quote “go see the elephants” 1
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pogo kangaroo 1
“don’t eat my peeps” 1
sometimes the most beautiful things in life go unnoticed because people are so preocupied with 1
susan parker who quote “one never knows does one” -billie -shirley 1
susan sarandon’s quote bearing witness 1
hafast bueno 1
when did the “heart of reno wedding chapel” close 1
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novelty raver store reno 1
happy turkey week 1
“six parts love” quotes 1
is it ok for my son to sleep in underoos 1
words of happiness 1
“daddy’s toenails” 1
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lce yarns nocelty yarms

 

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