Must needs these

So, I need to invent a couple of things right quick.

First, I need a Bleach Scented Candle. That way my house can smell like I cleaned it without all that pesky work*. Of course, I’ll need to figure out how to make it a scent that I am not reactive to. But that is a mere detail. And can be worked out later!

The other thing that I need to invent is a holster to hold multiple phones. I am making that for my friend since we were talking about having multiple Twitter accounts and how it’s difficult to switch between them on his phone**. The obvious solution to this problem is multiple phones. Obviously, again, we then need a convenient way to carry them with ease of access. I envision it as an ammo belt criss crossing the chest like a bandolero  Or it might be in a binder with pockets and dividers similar to baseball card protectors. Lastly, it could be in some sort of wallet that unfolds your phones like those things that hold all of your grandkids photos.

There. I have improved the world yet again.

 

*I am cleaning. It’s just not fast enough. Somebody get me of this damn treadmill.

**Soon enough he will no doubt write the code for an app that manages multiple accounts like that. Because that’s what he likes to do. This is an interim solution. Or maybe just cooler.

Daylight Saving Delusions.

Early Daylight Savings Morning Convo with self:
Daaang, WTF are we doing up so early? It’s like 4 o’clock, man.

No, no, look: the clock says it’s 5.

Bullhonkey, what did you do? Run around and change all the clocks so I’d get up earlier?

Uh, well.

OMG! You did. What kind of outfit are you running here. That ain’t Hoyle, man. Why would you do that?

You know, the thing with the daylight…?

Oh. That again? They still do that?

Yeah. Every year.

Come on, we know a couple people in Arizona. They don’t fool with this BS down there.

We aren’t moving to Arizona. Just go along…it’ll be okay in a week or two.

 

*This post is brought to you by the early morning ramblings of a pre-coffee, pre-awake brain. Adjust your station accordingly. 😛

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Just playing around a bit lately!

Stuff About the Place

Seems really pretentious for a meat product, Mr. Spam.

I think this is a local product. Spicy rubs, indeed.

Went down to conferences this week. Got to see the artwork that they have hanging up in the halls. This was working on alliteration.

Six Word Friday: Light

 

we awaken before the morning light

reluctantly leaving our warm blanket cocoons

at least the view doesn’t suck.

Quotastical

‎”If you express what is inside you, what is inside you will save you.

If you don’t express what is inside you, what is inside you can kill you.” ~Gospel of Saint Thomas

Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise.

Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. – Claude T. Bissell

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. – Hans Hofmann

Quality begins on the inside… then works its way out. – Bob Moawad

That’s what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too. – Paulo Coelho

‎”Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous.

Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable…” ― Matilda by Roald Dahl

A person can succeed at almost anything for which they have unlimited enthusiasm. – Charles M. Schwab

This Habitat=For Humanity

Dear small animals,

I respect your right to exist. I think that you are precious little furry, scaly, slimy beings whose habitats should be protected and who should be free to roam and frolic in the trees, bushes, rocks, what-have-you.

But this habitat. is. for. humans. go back outside!

I’m talking to you Mr. Lizard who came to visit yesterday. and again today(or your friend).

and you, Mouse Family.

Please respect my habitat boundaries and I will respect yours.

Until then it is the new outdoor kitties’ habitat,too.

Sorry about that.

Not really that crazy

There is this popular catchy tune out right now.

I know that it’s popular and catchy because they told me so on Nightline.

Also, I have heard it myself a few times.

According to Nightline, it’s one of those songs that has swept across YouTube in the form of fun parodies and such.

I’ve also seen it in the other meme forms.

“Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy,
But here’s my number, so call me maybe
It’s hard to look right, at you baby,
But here’s my number, so call me maybe ” (original chorus)

So here is what I think:

What’s so crazy about giving someone your phone number when you first meet? How else are you going to explore the possibility of a future relationship?

Obviously I’m either too old or too literal or too … something to really get this song. But here’s my version, modified to fit my point of view. 🙂

Hey, we just met, and I find you very attractive

Let’s get together and see if this might lead somewhere

To facilitate that I’m going to provide you with a means of contacting me

But only if you choose to, so I’m not asking for your number back.

It’s possible it needs a little work to get it to really flow.

This is a test.

This is a test of the Emergency Alert System. This is only a test.

Had this been an actual emergency, this alert would have been followed by information.

Not information like the information we’re giving you now about the emergency alert system’s information, but actual information about the actual emergency that we would have actually been alerting you about.

Which we aren’t. Because this is only a test.

But if it hadn’t been, we would have been giving you actual, factual, useful information to use in the case of the actual emergency that we would have been alerting you to.

But we aren’t.

So we’re  giving you this other information in the interim in the interest of informing you of the information you’d be getting if this were an actual emergency.

It isn’t.

This will have only been a test.

Sunday Funday

Today looks like it will be fun. I usually meet up with my girlfriends on Sundays for “coffee” and chatting. Today I’m also getting some pictures taken for my art project. I think I mentioned those last week. I have a friend who is a photographer. She’s going to take them for me so I can have more pixels and better pictures, too.