I'm not one who divides music, dance or art into various categories. Either something works, or it doesn't. ~Twyla Tharp
02 Sep 2013 4 Comments
It’s no secret that I am not a fan of mornings. Now as we prepare for school to start (tomorrow!) we are going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. The only benefit, slight though it may be, of getting up at the crack of dawn is the dawn itself.
So, you know….it’s not all bad.
16 Jul 2013 Leave a comment
I took my husband over to the ER last Wednesday to see about why his feeding tube apparatus was coming apart. We were there for 8 hours (not including the hour drive each way to get there) at the end of which they recommended that we go back to Portland where they had installed it because they weren’t familiar with this type and so couldn’t say whether it could be repaired or not. Or even what was going on specifically.
05 Jul 2013 3 Comments
Kid: It’s the 4th of July!
Me: What’s that?
Kid: Fireworks Day!
Me: Is that all?
Kid: The day America was declared a country.
Me: Oh, cool!
Happy We’re A Country Day!
13 Feb 2013 4 Comments
When I talk about my ADD I try to be careful to make the distinction that I have it, not that I AM it. I’ve blogged about it before. Someone posted on facebook recently a sentence that, after it had a little time to sink in, really made my stop and think. What they posted was:
Fine, I have fat, not I am fat.
At first I dismissed it a little. Yes, of course, that makes sense. So? But it refused to give up as easily as that and niggled around in my brain, tapping at neurons until I paid more attention to it. Right. Okay. Yes. It’s kind of obvious once you think about it, isn’t it? I have fat. It does not define me. As much as our thin obsessed society would like me to think otherwise, I am not fat. I have fat. I have fat on my body. Some of which, maybe even most, I’d like to take off of my body. I am working at doing so. But in the meantime I am resolved to love my body for the beauty that it holds now.
I have fat. That little word has no bearing on myself as a person. It has nothing to do with my heart, my soul, my sexiness, my womanliness, my abilities as a mother, as a spouse, or as an artist.
I think that our media and society has fetishized thinness to point where people have trouble believing that any variation is attractive at all. It’s hard to envision yourself as beautiful when society holds up a picture of what beauty is and you don’t match it. We have swallowed the line heard so often; that we ARE fat and that being fat is a failing. The truth is that having fat is not a failing. Even if you want to lose weight or fitten up, it is possible to love yourself and your body now. In fact, you must. The way you talk to yourself colors the entirety of your experience. If you are hateful toward your body it won’t work with you it will work against you. You need to love your body into a new shape.
I wonder if it would be easier to turn down a “fatty” dessert if you could just say, “No, thanks. I already have enough fat.” As opposed to drawing it in to the fatness that you ARE because you can’t separate yourself from your fat. Hard to say. But it’s sure as hell worth a try.
A funny thing happened yesterday. I was on Pinterest and ended up spending 15 or 20 minutes looking a a couple of boards in promotion of Curvy women. After just that little amount of time had a big effect on my perception of my own body.
Just that small amount of time looking a big beautiful women let me see in me some of the things that I considered beautiful about them. Imagine if that could happen all of the time. If women of every beauty type across the broad spectrum were regularly represented in mainstream media. If your culture said that you were beautiful, too.
It is hard to imagine it.
What if our young men saw that it was okay to find more than one type of woman attractive? What if it was not considered a fetish to be attracted to bigger people? What if we allowed people to love who they love without labels?
What if I told you you’re beautiful?
What if you knew it already because you didn’t have to fight so hard against society’s cookie cutter idea of beauty?
What if I am not fat? What if I have fat?
What if it doesn’t really matter that much if I do?
16 Jan 2013 2 Comments
sometimes I sit next to the ocean and listen to the waves crashing,
just one after the other endlessly and eternally.
without regard for my problems or issues.
enormous and everlasting.
bigger than me.
bigger than nearly everything.
more powerful than me and anything that is thrown at it.
rocks and problems and anything are are tumbled and polished until they are but a grain of sand.
a tiny grain of sand among billions.
as am I.
and then I know that I am small and insignificant in the grand order of things.
and that is as it should be.
and my pain or sorrow is tossed into the ocean to be tumbled and ground down to but a grain of sand and wounds rinsed and cleansed with water and salt.
whatever the source of your comfort,
know that you are on the right path,
everything is as it should be for now,
27 Nov 2012 Leave a comment
So, we went out to dinner on Thanksgiving. Since cooking a big meal like that for three people is pretty much the same amount of cooking as it would be for 10 without the extra bodies to help with cleanup (and cooking, I guess), I don’t like to do it.
So we’re out to dinner and as usual I like to take some pictures.
First, I take one where someone is not looking at the camera. But it’s still a fairly nice shot of the dudes. So I try again.
Hey, that’s much better. People are looking at the camera. and smiling. Cool.
Then I decide that in the interest of making sure that there is photographic evidence that I exist and not only exist, but exist in the same physical plane as my child, he should come over and sit by me so Daddy can take a picture of us.
Look! There we are! But wait. Somebody isn’t looking at the camera. Let’s try again.
Okay, so we are both looking at the camera. And obviously THRILLED.
But it works.
So I start to fool around with it.
And I make it my cover photo on facebook.
And then I go back in time to use an old photo of a snowman for my profile picture. Since the two pics are in such close proximity, it becomes very apparent that
and this guy are thinking pretty much the same thing.