“Five” for your Friday

So here are some things I gathered this week.

On loving ourselves and each other:

http://www.brenebrown.com/my-blog/2013/3/20/meuitdwaubpgr9qt1xanm3fwwa0sjo (shame is not a tool that allows for change)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3KyvlMJefR4 (Imagine a world without hate)
http://www.scarymommy.com/hate-my-body/ (I don’t hate my body)

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-moments-that-prove-mr.-rogers-was-greatest-american (a rare ceasefire in snark was called on Cracked because of Mr. Rogers)

On politics and Dying:

http://www.truthdig.com/dig/item/the_last_letter_20130318/

On Rape and Rape Culture:

(I assume these will be triggering for some. [too many])

http://www.guante.info/2012/12/new-video-action-and-mens.html (a spoken word poem about staying silent)

http://www.lateenough.com/2013/03/friends-dont-let-friends-rape/ (when a friend won’t let you drive drunk, but will let you rape)

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/03/19/stubenville-and-cnn-and-the-rest/ (we need to hear more men like this)

http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2013/03/this-is-too-much-for-me.html

 

Yeah, well I’m taller.

Currently I am still taller than my son. But my days are numbered I’m fairly certain.

I took this picture yesterday:

Frowny dude.

I took these ones two years ago in July:

Gosh, he’s getting tall.

In drawing class last fall we had an assignment to create a drawing using at least three figures in a narrative. We were encouraged, but not required, to use a comic strip sort of layout or at least idea for moving the story along.

So I took a few of my pictures from swim lessons last summer…

and used them to put together something of a montage of Child C at swimming.

I’m not really all that comfortable with realism, so I traced and transferred the figures onto my paper. My instructor liked the nostalgic, old picture feeling I ended up with. He preferred it without the yellowy background. Then he delved deeper into the picture to find that it seemed like a study in the ephemeral nature of youth. Described here by the interminal waiting, the preparing, poised just on on the precipice, and then, whoosh, they’re gone.

This was not what I was thinking of when I was making this piece and nearly made me cry in class. Jerk.

Anyway, I felt like these pictures of the progress of  Child C as he grows taller (he can now just grab stuff out of that top cabinet!) and moves through time toward his  own big splash had the same feeling of trying to capture a moment in time before it gets away from you.

Or grows taller than you. 😀

The Rabbit Died

I am not actually opposed to hunting. (Unless it is purely for sport)

I’m not a vegetarian.

I feel that there is a certain price we pay for taking a life. Of any kind. So, to me, if you are going to be a meat eater, it is more authentic to kill it yourself and pay the price yourself, then it is to transfer the cost to someone else and get your non-animal shaped meat packages delivered to you.

I think it’s very easy in this society to be completely removed from our food sources. I think many people are able to disconnect the hamburger in the store or in the restaurant from the cow in the field.

Having said that, I don’t follow my own code. I am not going to kill my own meat to eat. I get upset when birds, mice, squirrels, dart out to hit my car when I’m driving. By my own code I should, therefore, not eat meat. I do, at least, try to be mindful of it.

I married a mountain man, a warrior, a hunter. A man who can and has lived off the land completely. These days he may physically not be the mountain man he once was, but mentally he hasn’t changed much from the young man roaming the mountains of Wyoming.

So I struggle with how much hunting stuff my son gets to do. I’m sure that my husband thinks I’m just a big buzzkill on this issue. But if were only up to me, my innocent little boy could go his entire life without ever having hunted. Obviously, it is not only up to me. So things go too fast for me and too slow for them and we muddle in the middle where most of life happens.

This week we passed a milestone on our hunting journey. The Dudeling shot his first rabbit. He is so proud and I am proud for him. I am also sad. Because the rabbit died. And he’s the one who killed it.

On his path to becoming a man. He has provided food for the family table now. Because we eat what we kill. If it’s big enough to eat. So Daddy helped him dress it so we can cook him up. Speaking of which….any good rabbit recipes out there?

The Rookie and the Veteran

My son decided to honor his dad on Veteran’s Day with some cupcakes.

He did almost everything himself. I was merely support crew.

I didn’t take any pictures of the making of the cake cups, but I will show you the important part. THE DECORATING!

We took a jar of white frosting and divided it into thirds in two more cups. To those we added food coloring.

Then we laid out our cupcakes in our pattern and started decorating them.

At the end we took the leftover white and put it in a bag to make dots.

I think next time we’ll just skip the cups and go right to the bags for all of our frosting needs. Easier, I think.

I don’t bake much. I find it to be kind of difficult. Doing it with someone else (who may or may not be very bossy!) is nearly impossible.

That’s one thing that my Mom was very good at. Letting kids help and make messes.

So C hasn’t baked in a while.

I think they turned out great. And Daddy had better get up soon because we want to eat them.

Happy Veteran’s Day to our Marine.

Hunting Season Is Upon Us

So today is the first day of hunting season around here.

While I personally don’t prefer to hunt, I have always respected my husband’s right to enjoy things that I don’t, especially since I feel like he has a strong respect for the animals and isn’t only hunting trophies.

But I have to say that after last year’s hunting “adventure” as well as three separate trips back to the same location to try to retrieve our camp gear which resulted in his truck getting stuck all three times in the same non cell phone signal area thus rendering him unable to even text me that he was okay without a good hike out to a spot with a signal. I am tired of hunting and all of the accompanying drama that we have been “enjoying” of late.

Next year he hopes to go hunting with his brother. Which will ease my mind quite a bit, since we all know that we’re supposed to use the buddy system, especially out in the wilderness.

But this year…

This year, I’m pleased to say that he is (as a concession to the rest of us) going hunting with a friend and a bit more locally. Hopefully that means he will be in touch more. Of course, I won’t hold my breath.

I wish him quick success. Because the quicker we get our deer, the quicker hunting season will be over.

Six Word Fridays: Move

We move together. Slow, quick, quick.

My hand in yours. You lead.

I follow, but you cannot lead

without my agreeing to the steps.

You pose a question in movement.

I answer with a corresponding motion.

In this way we conversate together.

You hold me close, but still

allow me room to spin freely.

We step, step, glide, pivot, turn

across the dance floor in harmony.

Weaving a path safely through, around.

You clasp my hand in yours.

The intention of your body funnelled

through your arms, telegraphed through fingers,

guiding us to the music’s rhythm.

My hand rests lightly in yours.

Neither’s hand clutches. They need space.

Tethered together by choice, by action.

A too firm grip ruins flow.

A too weak hold can’t follow.

“Spaghetti arms” can’t maintain a conversation.

The delicate balance between strong and soft

is navigated step by step, collaboratively.

Honey, would you care to dance?

Take the Lead Tango

Move over here to read more moving posts.

Generation M

I’ve been a little lax about posting in my Man Up and Womanly Arts categories. To be honest, it’s hard to maintain the energy needed to be that worked up about it all the time. So I throw in the towel sometimes for a while. (Obviously it has NOTHING to do with my focus challenges. At all.) Also, I have a little wiggle room because I am raising a man-cub and while there are lots of gender and gender role issues to deal with for boys, the boxes they are put in have a little more room. However, I do sometimes come across something that really needs to be shared. This is one of those things.

Generation M for Misogyny

“Another generation of women and girls is being trained to please men, to do whatever they can to not make men unhappy, to stroke men’s egos and to know their second class status and not complain about it” 

http://empowering-girls.blogspot.com/2011/08/generation-m-for-misogyny.html

“Girls today are raised around images of idealized beauty, where airbrushed perfection informs girls of the standards of beauty in our society, and it is also no accident that the words “Hot” and “Sexy” appear on almost every cover of teen magazines aimed at girls and where makeover tips are found throughout. It is against this background of idealized beauty, and the beauty industry’s insistence that girls and young women have many imperfections that this beauty industry thrives.” 

Please click through and watch the video. It’s less than six minutes.

Man up Monday and Womanly Wednesday: Dear Woman

I think this video is just Amazing. Even just hearing this said aloud is healing to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uRIMUBnvw

I don’t really have much else to say about it.

Gorgeous!

Man Up Monday: A Real Man

My Dear Son,

When it comes to being a man, we will work together to develop an idea of what we think a man is. Our ideas will, of course, be informed by the images in the media. But as we are free thinking, intelligent beings we are able to seek out those examples that are most in line with our values and refuse or analyze those that are not. We will start with my and your dad’s ideas and build from there. We will add Daddy’s later. For now, this is just my list. These are the most important qualities that I believe a man should have. But, they are not reserved only for men. These are qualities that a woman should have as well. As you get bigger, you will hear people describe something called a “real man.” This is what they feel is the ideal of a man. There is no one definition of a real man. In fact, one person’s ideals might change over time. The reality is that there is no definition of what a real man is. If you try to act like someone else’s idea of how a real man should act then you are probably not being true to your own self and heart. As Daddy likes to say, “To thine own self be true.”

 

Man Up Monday: Football

My Dear Son,

I know that you love football. I could rail against the violence and cookie cutter gender roles that so obviously are present in this sport and its portrayal in the media. I will not. I will teach you that even within this sport there are many different roles played out. There is a vital role on the team for multiple types of masculinity if we only look.

The more traditional definition of masculinity can be found in the linemen. Big and strong, they give and take the brunt of the physical force bandied about in this battle. You have your daddy’s build, a longer, leaner body type that probably won’t lend itself to the linebacker model. Perhaps you will be a running back. In this role the man is not large and built for blocking. He is more slender. He is fleet of foot. He relies upon his eyes to show him the way through the opposition to reach his goals. With help from his teammates, he is able to use his quick reflexes and agile body to navigate across this minefield to where he can coordinate his feet, hands, eyes, and mind in concert to catch the passes thrown to him.

The linchpin of a football team on the field is the quarterback. Of course, the quarterback needs physical strength and nimble feet in order to fill his role on the team. But the quarterback, more than anything else, must be smart. He needs to be able to see the bigger picture, make quick decisions, and implement those decisions into actions while in the face of adversity in the form of the players on the other team. If it is my choice, I think you will make a great quarterback one day. But none of these players would win this game without the other players.

We also must mention in our roles of masculinity the role of the coach. I hope that we remember the coach as knowledgeable leader who has played the game before and is able to show you how to play, how to maximize your talents, and how you will best be an asset to the team. Do not mistake aging for losing strength. While it is true that the coach might not run as fast as you can, he has the knowledge to see things that you can’t and choose the play that will allow for the best possible outcome.

All of these positions are legitimate, valid pictures of strength. It takes all of them to make it possible to have a good game and win at it. Remember that in many ways football is all about life, but in no way is life all about football.