Friday Falafel* Five

Here is this week’s offering of great posts that I’ve read. I hope you’ll click through and give them a read or a look.

ADD and Autism

 

http://momnos.blogspot.com/2013/04/our-kind-of-autism-awareness.html (autism awareness)

http://www.diycouturier.com/post/47249603128/21-tips-to-keep-your-shit-together-when-youre (depression)

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2013/04/its-different-girls-adhd/63746/ (ADHD in girls)

 

Kindness and Love

 

http://www.kindovermatter.com/2013/04/through-lens-of-kindness.html (kind photography)

http://mad.ly/68e5a3 (you deserve love)

http://www.kindovermatter.com/2013/04/only-connect.html (making connections is what it’s all about)

 

Creativity

http://99u.com/articles/14599/the-5-most-dangerous-creativity-killers (make a change, if necessary)

 

Equality, Freedom and Poverty

 

http://www.upworthy.com/history-may-not-remember-this-speech-but-i-guarantee-that-you-will?c=ufb1 (equal rights in marriage (video))

http://www.upworthy.com/its-hard-enough-convincing-some-women-they-need-feminism-so-when-a-dude-gets-it?c=ufb1 (equal rights in gender)

http://billmoyers.com/content/slideshow-poverty-in-todays-america/ (photos of poverty in america)

 

*The falafel is in there because it makes about as much sense as me continuing to say FIVE every week.

Your Body is NOT Wrong

Read this post:

http://inkdot.tumblr.com/post/7243925631/no-shit

“everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.  Jeans, blazers, dresses – everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. ”

 

It’s not you. It’s them.

Love yourself

Here are some quotes and writings on loving yourself that I have read today. I think they are just divine.

‎”This is not about judgment or me telling anyone anything about what they should do – this is about each and every one of us learning what it means to truly take care of ourselves like the special, beautiful, and intricately glorious person that we are.” -Mara Glatzel.

This came from this post on  Mara Glatzel’s blog.

And another one from that same blog, but a different post:

“Anything else you’d like readers to know?

That they are sacred and miraculous and genius and remarkable, by virtue of being human. That the idea that your body is not gorgeous as it is is a big lie. I wrote this in a recently note to my subscribers and I’d love for these women to know it too:

Your mind’s complaints about your body will distract you till the day of your death if you let them. Don’t. Call them out, boot them out, and then party with the gorgeous suit you got for this round. Be the woman who didn’t listen to the dominant lie of her time.”

~Tara Sophia Mohr

I came to that blog from this post that I love from kind over matter which includes a bunch of great links about loving yourself and the body you are in now.

Dear Woman,

Dear Woman,

I am writing you this letter to tell you that you are enough.

You are a woman or a girl because you are one.

Not because you wear dresses or make up or high heels.

Wearing pink or lace doesn’t make you more female any more than wearing blue makes you more male.

If you prefer jeans  or mud, that doesn’t make less female either.

You are exactly as you are meant to be:

Perfectly imperfect. As we all are.

Choose lace.

Choose mud.

Choose lace and mud.

Just know that you are female, a girl, a woman not based upon the garb you choose to don.

Every person who ever put on clothes in the morning was dressing up to play a role. Maybe that role was MOM or CORPORATE MOGUL or ATHLETE. Maybe that role was CAREGIVER or COWGIRL or PRINCESS.

You define your roles. Don’t let them define you.

If I were a pirate every day and today I dressed as a princess, would that make me less of a pirate?

The same is true of our femininity.

If I am a woman every day and today I dressed as a pirate, would that make me less of a woman?

Dress up.

Dress down.

Dress the part of the role you play today. Rest assured that it is only a role and does not change who you are.

You are a girl, a woman, a female inside your heart and body, not outside of it because of your clothes.

Embrace yourself.

Love yourself.

Love,

Me

Fat. and other bad words.

People are obsessed with being skinny. This is not surprising given our unrealistic, media driven culture. I don’t want to be skinny. Personally I find very skinny people look unhealthy and wish that they would eat a bit more. The other part of wanting to be skinny is driven by the health industry. We all know how much more healthy it is not to carry too much weight. Honestly, you’d have to live in a cave not to have heard of all the dangers of being heavy. I in no way dispute that. That’s why my goal is to become more fit and strong and get down to a more healthy weight.

But that doesn’t make it okay for people to bandy about words like fat or obese.

I’ve heard Oprah say that it’s one of the last things it’s okay to discriminate against. I agree that many people seem to be harshly judgmental about overweight people and fairly callous in their use of words about it. If you wouldn’t walk up to them and talk about their fatness or obesity, then don’t, please, talk to me about it. Or talk around me about it. If you wouldn’t walk up and talk to me about my weight, then please don’t talk to anyone else about it. If you can engage me (or them) in a respectful dialogue about your concerns about my (their) health, then you’ve done a lot more to promote healthy behaviors than ever will be accomplished by name calling.

And that’s what it is.

Name Calling.

Maybe you say obese because that is a medical term and that makes it okay. Yeah, it really doesn’t.

I’m overweight. I’m heavy. I need to increase my fitness and yes, decrease my fat. But many times weight issues (too little or too much) are about far more than just eating. They are complex topics that are intertwined with emotions and power and control as well as hormones and genetics and lifestyle.

There are beautiful people of every weight, shape and size. So let’s try to be a little more aware of the power of our words. Let’s try to give each other the benefit of the doubt and treat each other with kindness first and foremost.

Six Word Fridays: Move

We move together. Slow, quick, quick.

My hand in yours. You lead.

I follow, but you cannot lead

without my agreeing to the steps.

You pose a question in movement.

I answer with a corresponding motion.

In this way we conversate together.

You hold me close, but still

allow me room to spin freely.

We step, step, glide, pivot, turn

across the dance floor in harmony.

Weaving a path safely through, around.

You clasp my hand in yours.

The intention of your body funnelled

through your arms, telegraphed through fingers,

guiding us to the music’s rhythm.

My hand rests lightly in yours.

Neither’s hand clutches. They need space.

Tethered together by choice, by action.

A too firm grip ruins flow.

A too weak hold can’t follow.

“Spaghetti arms” can’t maintain a conversation.

The delicate balance between strong and soft

is navigated step by step, collaboratively.

Honey, would you care to dance?

Take the Lead Tango

Move over here to read more moving posts.

Raising Confident Leaders (Womanly Arts)

Here is a link to a good article on how to encourage our girls to be confidant leaders.

http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/07/05/michele-borba-helping-girls-become-confident-leaders-based-on-the-girl-scouts-research/

It’s a little long (at least by internet standards) but worth the read.

Generation M

I’ve been a little lax about posting in my Man Up and Womanly Arts categories. To be honest, it’s hard to maintain the energy needed to be that worked up about it all the time. So I throw in the towel sometimes for a while. (Obviously it has NOTHING to do with my focus challenges. At all.) Also, I have a little wiggle room because I am raising a man-cub and while there are lots of gender and gender role issues to deal with for boys, the boxes they are put in have a little more room. However, I do sometimes come across something that really needs to be shared. This is one of those things.

Generation M for Misogyny

“Another generation of women and girls is being trained to please men, to do whatever they can to not make men unhappy, to stroke men’s egos and to know their second class status and not complain about it” 

http://empowering-girls.blogspot.com/2011/08/generation-m-for-misogyny.html

“Girls today are raised around images of idealized beauty, where airbrushed perfection informs girls of the standards of beauty in our society, and it is also no accident that the words “Hot” and “Sexy” appear on almost every cover of teen magazines aimed at girls and where makeover tips are found throughout. It is against this background of idealized beauty, and the beauty industry’s insistence that girls and young women have many imperfections that this beauty industry thrives.” 

Please click through and watch the video. It’s less than six minutes.

Womanly Arts: Pigtail Pals and Operation Beautiful

One of my favorite websites that I follow on facebook Pigtail Pals posted this picture this morning:

Which was a great way to start the day.

Here is an excerpt from Pigtail Pals mission statement on their website:

“I’m not anti-pink. I’m not anti-princess (although I really do not dig the Disney version). I’m not anti-girly. I’M ANTI-LIMITATION. I want my daughter to be bold. I want her to be unafraid to be intelligent. I want her to be respected for her accomplishments. I want her to know that she can be an astronaut, a doctor, a pilot, a carpenter, a firefighter. She will not be raised to think that the world belongs only to boys and that she is merely a pretty thing in it.

I think our girls deserve more. I think they deserve better. I think it is time to redefine girly.

Redefine Girly means that our girls will show the world they aren’t demure princesses or sassy divas or spoiled brats. Our girls will show the world they have great potential. Redefine Girly means we can expect the same things for our daughters, from our daughters, as we do our sons.”

I ♥ Pigtail Pals

But then I read in the comments that she got the photo from Operation Beautiful. I was not familiar with them, but I’m glad I am now!

“The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.”  If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is  — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.”

So…

Good Morning, Beautiful!

Man up Monday and Womanly Wednesday: Dear Woman

I think this video is just Amazing. Even just hearing this said aloud is healing to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uRIMUBnvw

I don’t really have much else to say about it.

Gorgeous!